Twenty-four/seven (reflections and humble advice to the homeschooling novice) *the complete post*

Assalamo ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. (apologies, I accidentally posted a draft!)

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When my first child was about 3 and I was just preparing to home educate, I read something that stayed with me. It was a Facebook post by an experienced Muslim homeschooler who was asked “how do you do it?”. Her immediate reply was: “You have to not mind being with your children 24/7.”

This sounds a lot more obvious than it is.

Lately, I have been talking about homeschooling with several people I know; Women who have either just taken their child out of school, have decided to start with their little ones or are seriously considering not sending their big kids to secondary school. Each of them is in a very different predicament in terms of the age of her children and the extent of their experience of public school; what they have in common is that they all are entering uncharted territory. Their situations – different as they might be – all remind me of giving birth (and no – not in terms of pain!!!): the decision to take full charge of your child’s education has a certain solemnity to it. You just know that it will forever be intertwined with your experience as a parent. It is thinking about these friends of mine and their families that some reflections started bubbling up to the surface of my conscience.

I myself feel as though I have entered a new stage in my homeschooling journey. I have been so busy hiking up the mountain, that only now I pick up my head and notice the landscape has changed. I realised that, rather than being “resigned” to it, I have embraced the idea that my children will not go to school. I always vouched for home education but, deep inside, I have been somewhat affected by the notion that “school = real life”. I felt that, for me and my kids, homeschooling was just a temporary solution to the absence of a salafi school where we live; I thought I would hold down the fort as best as I could until this phantomatic move to a place where I could find the right institution to “offload the burden”. In the meantime, my eldest is almost through with primary school. Moving is a remote possibility; our homeschool, on the other hand, has been a reality. It has been so for 7 years and by the sole mercy of Allah. It has been, and continues to be, engaging and a little unpredictable. Fluid and changeable. Frustrating and fulfilling. Subject to moods, light-bulb moments, phases of near obsessive interest and a few fads too. It defines our family. It moulds our relationships with one another. It is heart-warmingly good, spectacularly bad and everything in between.

Before I share my two pence worth of reflection and advice about homeschooling, know that – 7 years ago – that “24/7” statement felt like a slap in the face, because the thought of my 3 year old boy being with me 24/7 for the foreseeable future terrified me. Not to mention the guilt aftershock.

So, new or aspiring homeschooling people, gather around! these are more M&Ms than pearls of wisdom, but here you go:

  1. LITTLE CHILDREN DON’T NEED A CURRICULUM, THEY NEED A LIFE.

A life with you, to be precise. The need to do what they love with the person who is their whole world. And tons of books, to be read to them by the aforementioned, who is also required to slow down and be present. They do not need instruction, but first hand experience. And, that way, they learn. “Learning through play” means exactly that. It doesn’t mean putting up a puppet show to teach a 4 year old to solve equations or write cinquains. Don’t do that. Please.

2. HAVING YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU 24/7 DOESN’T MEAN THEY MUST BE ON YOUR LAP 24/7.

When people ask me,”So, basically your kids are with you all the time?” In my head I chuckle and answer,”Where else should they be?” (They aren’t by the way, not all the time). School is a perfectly legitimate solution for some families, but when did it become the default place for kids to belong?

Having said so, some sensible boundaries have to be set. My kids are with me all the time, but they are not engaging me all of the time. When I am busy (meaning: late) making dinner, and each of my 3 comes to me simultaneously with a very specific snacks request for the fourth time, I joke with them saying that I am not a tapas bar. Or one of those sushi places with the little plates of food on a conveyor belt. Kids tend to be what, in adults, we call “self-centred”. They expect it to be an “all day breakfast” kind of situation. And it is, except that it would be impossible for a Muslim mother to carry out her other duties efficiently if she went along with it 24/7. Children are quite unlikely to think, “Hmm… I see Mother is looking quite drained after spending all day responding to our physical, educational and emotional needs. She should have a quiet hour a day to deepen her knowledge of the religion without any disturbances or endless requests,” (right???). So, instead of ending up resenting children because they can’t give us a break, it is up to the parent to create that time and guard it, put it in place and make it a routine. These are some ideas:

  • Get up before your children. Snatch that hour even if you have to study in your pyjamas to save yourself the time it would take to get dressed.
  • Have a bedtime and stick with it. Bedtimes are cherished in this house (and not just because they usually mark the end of my working day). An adequate bedtime must apply also to older children, or at least a time when they are expected to be in their room for the night.
  • When a toddler outgrows the need for an afternoon nap, nap-time can evolve into “quiet time.” With the exception of prayer at the masjid or any scheduled activities they might have outside the house, our boys will spend a couple of hours in their room in the afternoon. They may rest, read, play, draw, do homework … anything, as long as it is quiet. They are not locked in, they simply know that is a time we spend doing separate things and whatever is not urgent can wait a little.

By the mercy of Allah, this can allow for part time work from home, online study, exercise and any job that is best done without kids around. It provides much needed rest if one is unwell/pregnant/fasting or simply in need to pull herself together if it has been a hard day. Creating these pockets of time help us being more available at all other times, to give every ounce of us when our kids are around (which is most of the time anyway) and achieve some of our personal goals.

3. EXPOSING OUR CHILDREN TO MASSIVE FITAN FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR SOCIAL LIFE IS AGAINST THEIR BEST INTEREST.

We wouldn’t give our children a tub of ice-cream at every meal time instead of proper food just because they like it. Nobody could accuse us of starving them if we did, or argue that ice-cream is not food. Yet we don’t let them have that for every meal. Similarly, we cannot cave on this: If we consider the school environment available to our children to be a highly toxic one, one that could tarnish their morals and attack their deen, then we cannot overlook this just so that they can hang out with a bunch of people their age. This is ice-cream for dinner, just with even more harmful and far reaching consequences. The aspect of socialisation for homeschooled kids is like broccoli: wholesome and as appetising as you make it! Few things make us happier than giving our children what they desire and – especially as they grow into teenagers – their need for their peers is real. But we also know that what we desire is not always what is good for us. Moreover, Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:  “A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look to who he takes as close friend.” This couldn’t be more relevant in the case of older children and teenagers, for whom Ummi is no longer the whole world! This is not to demonise school in general, nor to point the finger. It might be that a family genuinely does not have a choice, and surely all Muslim kids have available to them the guidance Allah and the teachings of His Messenger (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), whether they are homeschooled or go to school. Having said so, parents who send their Muslim children to school uniquely out of fear that they would not be able to provide an adequate academic or social experience otherwise, should re-assess their priorities and give themselves a chance in this sense. And never underestimate what we are up against, in terms of desires, as we strive to give our children a good upbringing.

4. WE DO NOT HOMESCHOOL BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID OF THE WORLD.

Homeschooled kids don’t live under rocks. The fact that we don’t just throw them out there in any environment and in any kind of company does not mean we want to keep them within our 4 walls. Where there are homeschooling families, there will – in sha’ Allah – be activities for your child to participate in with other kids. If something is not available, you can start it. Either way, your control over what kind of influences your children are exposed to will be far greater than in mainstream education. Beneficial companionship and friendship can and should be facilitated for our children and school is not necessarily the answer to this (in fact, for a Muslim in a non-Muslim land, it is hardly ever so).

5. HOMESCHOOLING OLDER CHILDREN MEANS TO BE THE MANAGER OF THEIR EDUCATION MORE THAN THEIR TEACHER.

You will not always have to sit and feel the sandpaper alphabet with them. As they grow, there seems to be less teaching and more organising. I sometimes feel like I am my 10 year-old’s secretary: Filling the calendar, setting the alarms on my phone for each activity (with one hour to spare – in case I completely forgot there was something and I need to give people lunch before it), remind them of any change of plans, liaise with other parents to plan activities, arrange meetings, outings, invitations, check that homework for other teachers is done, keeping an eye out on the local homeschooling community to see what is going on, etc. My 10 year old’s column in our family calendar is by far the busiest! Which brings me to my next point:

6. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY YOURSELF.

Usually a child would have two parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, older cousins, family friends: each of these people has something he or she could bring to the education of your children, some talents and abilities your children might be able to learn from. Then there are other homeschooling parents that may want to set up clubs about something that they are good at and/or that interests their children. There are homeschooling co-ops, tutors, online courses… There are countless ways out there to get help in teaching our children, if one can be proactive and a bit creative.

7. IF YOU FEEL LIKE NO OTHER OPTION IS GOOD ENOUGH, YOU WILL MAKE IT WORK – BY ALLAH’S HELP.

Being Muslim is not the easiest thing in the world nowadays. Our Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us that Islam started as something strange and, towards the end of times, it will again be seen as something strange; that to hold on to it will be like holding on to hot coals… yet we wouldn’t consider any other way, because – alhamdulillah -we know that it is the Truth and nothing compares to it (may Allah keep us firm upon it). The status of homeschooling is nowhere as absolute as that, of course, but the point here is: If we feel strongly enough about it, we will seek the means to achieve it – even if it is not the easiest or most convenient option. Rectifying our intentions and seeking the help of Allah are the first and most crucial of those means, and with the help of Allah nothing is impossible.

It is by the help of Allah that not only am I no longer scared of being with my children 24/7, but I am grateful not to have to give a school such a large chunk of their time – their childhood: a precious time that passes quickly, as does our life.

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WORKBOOK COVER & INTRO – 30Days with the Names of Allah

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Assalamo ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

PLEASE NOTE, I removed all links to the old version of this notebook.

See www.salamhomeschooling.com for the new FREE version of the workbook and a SECOND one about the Names of Allah (both COMING SOON insha’Allah)

I perfect Umm Yusef’s style, the cover and introduction to the workbook come at the end!

Alhamdulillah.

Please, do NOT skip the introduction: the correct understanding of the Names and Attributes of Allah is vital to sound belief and so many in have gone astray because of deviant understandings of this topic…(may Allah protect us fro that). The following is a super simplified 1 page version of the guidelines on the correct way to understand the Names and Attributes of Allah according to the methodology of the salaf, alhamdulillah. I couldn’t make it any simpler. Alhamdulillah.

 

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I ask Allah to keep my intentions pure and for this little effort of mine to benefit my family and yours.

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PART 4 – Ramadaan: 30 days with the Names of Allah

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Assalamo ‘alaykum.

PLEASE NOTE, I removed all links to the old version of this notebook.

See www.salamhomeschooling.com for the new FREE version of the workbook and a SECOND one about the Names of Allah (both COMING SOON insha’Allah)

Please find below the last instalment of the Names of Allah workbook I will be doing this coming Ramadaan with my children, insha’Allah.

May Allah purify my intention and help my family and yours benefit from this little effort. Ameen.

PART 3 – Ramadaan: 30 days with the Names of Allah

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Assalamo ‘alaykum.

PLEASE NOTE, I removed all links to the old version of this notebook.

See www.salamhomeschooling.com for the new FREE version of the workbook and a SECOND one about the Names of Allah (both COMING SOON insha’Allah)

 

Following my recent posts on the Names of Allah Workbook I am putting together for my kids for the upcoming Ramadaan insha’Allah, here is the pages for week 3.

May Allah purify my intention and help my family and yours benefit from this little effort. Ameen.

 

PART 2 – Ramadaan: 30 days with the Names of Allah

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Assalamo ‘alaykum

PLEASE NOTE, I removed all links to the old version of this notebook.

See www.salamhomeschooling.com for the new FREE version of the workbook and a SECOND one about the Names of Allah (both COMING SOON insha’Allah)

 

Following my previous post on the Names of Allah Workbook I am putting together for my kids for the upcoming Ramadaan insha’Allah, here is the pages for week 2. Alhamdulillah.

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Ramadaan: 30 days with the Names of Allah

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Assalamo ‘alaykum.

Please note that the links to the old version of this notebook have been taken down. I have re-written it with new material and in a better format.

I also added a SECOND WORKBOOK on the Names of Allah.

Both of them will be FREE to download SOON (insha’Allah!) from my new blog www.salamhomeschooling.com 

 

In an attempt not to let it creep up on us, I started thinking about Ramadaan. As usual, I plan for it to be our yearly break from formal homeschooling insha’Allah, but with some sort of Islamic activity for the boys.

Masha’Allah, I have a 9 year old who loves learning (but hates writing) and a 5 year old who cannot sit down for more than 3 minutes at a time but would be terribly offended if I didn’t plan something for him to do too…. so I thought: meaningful & simple.

I am working on a little workbook on the Names of Allah, something that both boys can do to their level, insha’Allah. They will be given a page each day (in the usual Ramadaan mailbox, they don’t want to let go of it!).

My sources are:

Each page focuses on one of the Names of Allah (I chose 30 of those I found easier to understand and explain) and will include:

  • The Name of Allah in Arabic with some Arabic writing practice
  • The short translation of the meaning of the Name
  • An absolutely minimal explanation of the Name.
  • An exercise to find the shaahid (proof) of it being a Name of Allah in the relative ayah of the Qur’an (which they will be required to copy out in English translation too).
  • A small space for reflection on how to implement belief in that Name of Allah in their life.
  • Title, banner, and little things that can be coloured if the child is in the mood to do colouring (but not so much that it looks incomplete if left in black & white!)

No frills, as usual. Because I can’t and I don’t have time to learn right now .

Here is what it will look like:

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Alhamdulillah, I am posting a week’s worth of pages to stop myself making further changes or additions and spending more time than needed in putting this together (insha’Allah!). Click on the links for the PDF files insha’Allah. Don’t forget me in your du’a.

 

 

Fasting is a shield – a Ramadan chart

Assalamo ‘alaykum.

There wasn’t a pressing need for a Ramadan chart. There is lots of them around. However, my boys are into a bit of a castles/knights/medieval weaponry kind of phase. We are planning to design our own coats of arms tomorrow insha’Allah. I thought I could take advantage of this interest of theirs to tie in this very important and beautiful concept regarding the fast; I made a little chart with shield shapes for the child to colour one in (or fill it with a pattern) everytime he/she completes a fast, insha’Allah.

Fasting is a shield CHART

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May Allah grant us all a beneficial, peaceful and thankful month of fasting. May our fasting shield us from sin and from the Fire. Ameen.

Summer : Thinking outside the bucket

Assalamo ‘alaykum.

I have learned what a “bucket list” is from Pinterest. I kept coming across them and, since me and the boys keep talking about what we should do in the Summer (only because the UK weather is likely to be less rainy then, we don’t really take Summer holidays…). I thought it would be fun to make our own. Especially today: baby H and myself have a cold and – alhamdulillah – last night was rough and I woke up feling a bit overwhelmed by my unwritten to-do list. For once I prioritised fun with the boys over the washing up. I did the most urgent jobs and left the dishes while we painted.

I let the boys pick the summery element we would use to write each item of the list. They picked ice lollies. I wanted pineapples (or t-shirt hanging on a string washing line… but I feared it would make the poster too heavy). I got to choose the technique: of course watercolour. Masha’Allah. Minimum skill, maximum splendour. I think most mammals with opposable thumbs could achieve a good result with watercolours!

You litterally just have to teach the child to use strokes rather than the back and forth motion we use to colour with pencils or felt tips. Masha’Allah. The beautiful layering of shades and transparency of watercolours creates a brilliant rendition of juicy ice lollies melting.

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I cut a template of the main shape from thin cardboard, we filled a few watercolour friendly sheets and coloured them without minding the lines (we were going to cut them anyway). Then we cut the sticks out of a brown envelope I had lying around. TA-DAH!

So here it is:

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(This lovely font is called “KG love you through it”)

I put it up in our usual poster display spot in the entrance after the boys’ bedtime. I can’t wait to see their reaction tomorrow morning insha’Allah.

Initially we kept it really simple and easily achievable, with entries such as these (even B had a go at writing on his own masha’Allah!):

Then Y started becoming much more ambitious…(the left photo below refers to archeological research, expressed is Y’s characteristically coincise style! … he has been digging up the garden in search of an ancient town…)

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Until, when we were about to finish and I had popped upstairs to change H, Y shouted up to me to ask whether he could write this entry and I though “yeah sure, why not?!”

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If our Summer is as fun as it was to make this poster, insha’Allah, it will be wonderful. We probably won’t need to go that far.

Ramadan:Art ideas on standby

Assalamo ‘alaykum.

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As I mentioned in a previous post about the upcoming Ramadan, this year there will be no painstakingly planned and organized arts and crafts for each day. Rather, I will have some ideas prepared. Ideas that can easily be realised with materials that I already have in the house or that are cheap or free (headed for the bin/recycling bag).

I will use this post to list my favorite art techniques and ideas that I collected from Pinterest AND to put together a little “shopping list” insha’Allah, just to make sure I have what we need to make something fun a purposeful if and when the boys feel arty (or hungry! …eh eh)

  • Watercolour techniques x7 (whatever scholarly opinion you follow about rubbing alcohol, I would most definitely not go for that technique. No need really.)
  • Tape-paint-splatter
  • Circle art
  • Tissue transfer art
  • Water gun painting (I am probably going to have them put some dried watercolour on the paper and then just squirt water on it)
  • Watercolours splodges
  • Abstract kitchen paper painting
  • Print, print, print! I mean print with anything. And I mean anything. I need to start keeping the off cuts of some vegetables in the freezer to use as stamps (the bases of celery and lettuce, halves of gone bad citrus fruits, gone bad potatoes: potatoes can easily be cut into very very beautiful stamps, masha’Allah. As always I am against the use of foodstuff that is suitable for human consumption for creative or play purposes. That’s just waste). Other interesting materials to use with paint are sponges, bubble wrap  and small balloons.
  • Washi tapes art
  • Raid the cupboards collages. I love food packaging: so many colours, interesting fonts and prints!

This is not an exhaustive list. We might just go with the flow (especially if the weather allows us to “flow” outside so we don’t have as much cleaning up to do insha’Allah!)

It might be clear from my list, but I am after a specific type of art. A flat type. I will encourage the boys to create some decorative paper that will be used for BOOKMAKING insha’Allah. And it won’t be just a random book: It will be an aid to immerse ourselves in the tafseer this Ramadan. Watch this space insha’Allah.

Below is the list of the things I plan to use if the need for art arises, insha’Allah. All I need to do really is to be aware of their exact location, insha’Allah.

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Ramadan 1437 Homeschooling “Plan”

Assalamo ‘alaykum.

Not much of a plan really, but here it is.

  • Fasting – that comes first, it is the month of fasting. It will not be imposed on the boys, but it will be encouraged. I didn’t look at this year’s timetables yet but last Ramadan we had 19 hour days here in the UK, and a few of those days were very hot too. Alhamdulillah. The boys will do what they can and my husband and I will watch them closely, to make sure they do not overdo it if it becomes too hard for them.
  • No secular studies for the whole month (aside from Ramadan, I don’t plan to take any time off homeschooling in the Summer). I think people (all people, not just school age kids) should get on with their work and studies during Ramadan, as the Prophet (salla Allah ‘alayhi wa sallam) and his Companions did (i.e. they did not take a holiday nor did they shy away from doing what needed to be done because they were fasting). However, my kids are homeschooled and one of the perks of homeschooling is the flexibility, hence I choose for them to spend the month of Ramadan fully savoring the Ramadan athmosphere, insha’Allah. Plus, something tells me they won’t spend the days zonked on the sofa, being too weak to do anything….
  • We will be using the kids’ beloved Ramadan Mailbox, but this year they will collect “mail” twice daily, insha’Allah, in some DIY string envelopes I had lots of fun making (pattern for the tiny ones here, I copied it by eye to make it bigger. I used an old calendar of landscape picture of Sardinia that my mom got me when she went on holiday to – you guessed it – Sardinia!)
  • Every morning Y (8 years old) will find in the mailbox one tafseer card for his tafseer of Surah al-Baqarah activity.
  • Every morning B (who’s 5) will find in the mailbox a card from this 30 Days Ramadan activity – Find a Word in the Qur’an. (I just want to mention that I am using this activity but I don’t know anything about the site I took it from nor do I know who created it).
  • After the afternoon nap (that I am pretty sure we will all need!) the boys will collect a little treat from their mailbox. Either a collectible card (I chose 2 car themed sets: 1,2) or a few stickers to complete some sticker books (I got a space one for Y and a farm one for B – who is more down to earth, masha’Allah, eh eh…). I thought of the way the Sahabah used to encourage their children to fast and, when it became hard for them, they would distarcted them with a simple toy. This can either work in a similar way or as a little reward for those whose fast is already broken. Alhamdulillah. (I just want to mention how picking the theme for those cards was so hard! animals= needless images, since we already have lots of material covering animals, planes/ships= too warlike? cars = glorification of pointless luxury? footballers = no way. So much wrong with I don’t even know where to start… so I picked the car because -let’s face it – given the way we live, insha’Allah, I think the boys will appreciate the engineering/ mechanical aspects rather than the “got tons of money to burn” one. I strongly doubt they will feel deprived because we cannot afford a Bugatti Whatnot. May Allah protect us) Below, the daily ramadaan treats as well as my beloved envelopes!

 

 

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  • B will have a Ramadaan themed coloring book (free printouts insha’Allah). Let’s face it, he will see his brother’s tafseer workbook and will want one too. I used these lovely (and FREE) covers for both bound workbooks.
  • The boys will probably want to have some crafts AND make some recipes, so I will make sure I have something on standby. I have a lot of materials leftover from last year and there’s always paints, watercolors and paper!
  • This is a simplified version of my friend Umm Abdurrahman’s great idea: In case they need extra distraction, I will take out some toys they haven’t played with for ages. I just have to be aware of exactly where they are stored, insha’Allah. If they are anything like last year (out in the garden practically all day, fasting or not) I might not need this one.
  • Last but not least, I created a Ramadan 1437 Pinterest board to collect everything I come across and find interesting from crafts to recipes, coloring books to Eid favours for friends etc.

Alhamdulillah, this little preparation was enough to get that Ramadan buzz, masha’Allah. I ask Allah to let us reach this Ramadan and gain maximum benefit from it, ameen!